when doctors are idiots, you always pay for it later...

The specialist told me yesterday that I broke my nose, and because the hospital only did x-rays of my neck, head, and jaw bone and teeth they didn't see that it was broken. I was incredibly lucky that it is only one of those 'hairline fractures' and all I have to do is rent a respiratory device thingamabob to use at home because apparently it's so swollen inside. The doctor also told me that my neck in the x-rays doesn't look good and I have to do some exercises at home to make sure my movement isn't limited later in life. This is all pretty fucked up. I fell down some stairs and could have been left paralyzed, but instead I just can't breathe through my nose and have fucked up neck. Everybody at work is telling me to sue the owner of my building. Truth is, I don't want to. I don't want to get a lawyer and go to court. Sure, I could probably get loads of money and be more than incredibly comfortable - but what's the point? Everybody makes mistakes. Just because a light wasn't working? It's a little bit much for me. I love my little apartment. I love opening my bedroom windows onto the Medici chapel, the market down below. I love walking outside with Pig, and having everyone in the market scream her name and stop and chat. I love the bar downstairs where I go for coffee and they know my name, and Pig's of course. What do I gain from going to court? It's all just not my style at all.

pms.

Serious.

I just want to be the fuck alone.

tired.

I finally got my residency in Florence on Saturday morning. Woke up at 4:30am and took the first bus from Scandicci to the center. After almost two years, I finally have residency in the world. Friday afternoon I finally went to the doctor because my nose hasn't been getting any better and have learned that it is most likely broken and will have to see a specialist. My list of 'to do's just keeps getting longer. I have too much on my mind to have been enjoying my self properly. Natalie and I took a two hour long walk on Sunday with the Pig, in San Niccolò - one of the most peaceful places in Flo. And yet I woke up this morning wanting to hide from the world alone in my room full of drying laundry and with the sounds of the market coming alive in the world outside. I am haunted by this tingling sensation I feel everyday for change, to move, to leave, to never look back. As I finally for once in my life have my own place, with my own things, have planted my roots - I feel the need to start again from scratch. I feel perfectly content. But I cannot stand still. I have decided to go home to Montreal for my two week long holidy in August. And as much as I am excited to return, I dread to see how things have changed in my absence. I do not want to be disgusted by a life I used to love and a place I used to call home, because of its polar opposite-ness to my current home. And because of its difference, I know I will remain hurt and betrayed by it. I have realized that as much as I have uprooted myself, by myself, and for myself, I will never feel at home anywhere in the world. I will always be an 'outsider' here in beautiful Florence, and my hometown will never be capable of providing me the comfort it once did. I miss a home that no longer exists.

take that procrastination!

I finally made a doctor's appointment for after work today. I'm hoping I'm not going to need surgery after the fall.

I've already slipped again on the stairs and to be honest pretty freaked out by them. Not that they're anything particularly terrifying - just marble.

I've been so proactive these days - trying to get into the Università di Firenze in languages. I'm definitely going to do French because I've forgotten most of what I spent years studying in Montréal, and undecided on another... Maybe German. And since it's the uni of Florence it'll all be in Italian so that's another language. Too many languages? Possibly.

Still though, after I'll be definitely fluent in three of them. Spending my life as a translator - possibly not.

Still have sooo many things to do, such as wake up tomorrow at 5am to apply for residency, and hopefully go with Roby in the afternoon to buy a TV because the girls are going slightly mad without one at home.

To be honest, I kinda like the peace and quiet and long night chats over bottles of wine and good delicious Italian dinners...

clutzzzz

Natalie and I had an accident the Saturday before last. We fell down the stairs.

Nat fell on her hip and leg.

I fell on my face.

I suffered from a split open lip, whiplash, damaged tooth, along with bruises and aches in pain.

I just spent 10 days (paid) on medical house arrest and today is the first day I've ventured to work - nevermind outside. I have to do follow ups on my nose that still hasn't healed, on my tooth that's still loose, and take it 'easy' on my head and neck whatever the hell that means.

At least I don't have to wear a fucking neck brace anymore.

I missed the internet...

sweet

I made an appointment with my favourite Brazilian (okay, not favourite, but I'm not allowed to talk/think/speak to the real one) for Saturday at 1:30pm to get my fourth tattoo.

What a great way to end a stressful week.

I AM TOO EXCITED!!!

PS. She told me it was going to be 100 euro - I laughed and said 'no'. Then she said 70 euro. I have mastered the haggling!

...

So the gas people came by today. And the workers didn't uncover the pipe entirely so the gas people were like - not good enough.

The workers are coming back tomorrow morning to finish the work, and the gas people were like 'that's great, but we're really busy. Maybe we'll pop around in two weeks or so'

TWO WEEKS.

So we've been living there for two weeks already without heating, hot water, or oven/stove use. And now we have to wait at least another two weeks still because somebody is stupid enough to not know to uncover a fucking pipe?

I'm so refusing to pay rent for a month after we get gas, not half a month, ON TOP OF IT!

I'm so not in any mood. For students, for life, for anything.

PISSED.