congrats are in order.

Our little Natalie has been accepted to ETH University in Zurich.

Even though we will miss her so much, I hope her master studies create her into a incredibly balanced architect :)

my building.

I'm so tired of character building.

And I'm so tired of trying to understand others.

And I also just want to know that he's okay.

please.

be strong.

still sick.

But definitely on the road to recovery.

I opened my email just like any typical morning, but this morning it contained a message with information nobody could ever be prepared for.

I wish I could feel something other than frozen and numb.

back from the dead

I've spent three days in bed. Thanks to Mina's amazing new DVD collection I've watched: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Taken, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, Deception, The Other Boleyn Girl, Seven Pounds, among others that I'm pretty sure I just can't remember anymore. The Reader I adored, Benjamin Button was fab. The others I enjoyed although I must say I am slightly getting sick of the typical Hollywood film trying to be a-typical. I feel like they've done all these films before... It could just be the fever talking.
The glands in my neck are still incredibly swollen, but I'm back to work today. I've also stopped enjoying cigarettes. I crave them. I light one, taste it, am repulsed by it, throw it away. I have bought myself a mass amount of sweets this morning in order to hopefully munch them instead of stand at the door of the school with a cigarette. God this is hard. I think this is the second time I've ever tried to quit smoking and the first time I think I tried for a good hour or two and then gave up.
They also changed my hours at work and I am not pleased at all. Just wait until I give them the big 'fuck you' they deserve... wait for it... wait for it...

Taking care of myself and not going out everynight to commence:

NOW.

keep on troopin'

My parents are in town and I've been going to birthday bashes. I ate my weight in steak yesterday at lunch with my father - rare rare rare. I never ate steak before coming here. They make the best steak in the world. Served almost raw with olive oil. Thinking about it makes my mouth water... Tonight I'm having dinner with the folks at a restaurant in the palace of a famous Florentine family, Antinori. I've never been before, but it's supposed to be fab! Then Cri and Natalie and I have decided to dress up as 'figo' as possible and hit the town.

speedyspeedy

I ran through the pedestrian traffic of Florence today for almost an hour because they blocked my bank card again. And I had rent to pay and work to be at before 3:30. I ran from branch to branch and was told to go to a different branch.

I generally walk on the street because there isn't that much space on the sidewalk, but the cars always have enough space to pass me. I see this asshole coming right at me.

Of course.

The smart. It stops. It has a red haired driver.

How much of a baby can someone be to not even say hi, but just give a kiss and be on their way?

I need something more exciting in my life to happen right now. I'm falling asleep.

i stopped caring.

I was an Easter orphan - my flatmates were both away for the entire long weekend. I did Spring cleaning of the entire apartment, worked Saturday night, had an Easter pizza with Cri, went out every night, got home every morning around 6am, came the the realization that I am so goddamn bored.

The ginger even bores me.

I hate having this feeling that I constantly need something more. Something to keep me busy, to occupy my thoughts, to force me to wake up in the mornings with a reason to not just sit on my ass all day at work. I know this is normal for so many people, but sometimes I just feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm also being laid off at the end of the summer. Oh, thank you, financial crisis.

I have three options:
1. Move to Dubai with the folks
2. Stick it out here, eventually go back to school, etc
3. Go home.

I'm not going home. I have no home. And even if I do, Montreal definitely is not it anymore.

*Gabry's super green Pesto pasta - the ultimate 6am snack.

Meh. It was fun while it lasted. And I am once again incredibly disappointed with the male species.

Gabry had another 'cena' last night at his, and I went with the girls and Cristiano. The ginger was of course there. We ended up popping into different bars around town until Cri, Mina, Gabry, me and him went back to Gabry's for more food. Then he drove us home.

The whole night I felt annoyed by him, and at the same time was able to realize (even in my intoxicated state) that I do not and did not want anything more than flirtation and minor amusement.

So when he drove us home, I waited and seduced him.

I've explained myself three times already today to three different girl friends. And I as difficult as I find it to explain, most people just don't seem to understand. Am I really that different? I tend to loose interest with guys after being with them. My feelings for him will never change as a friend, but I needed this 'story' to go full circle. I needed to also have my revenge, if that even makes sense.

I find it very easy to be emotionally distant with men. And the way he has been treating his girlfriend, or whatever she is, is in no way right. I know he feels bad, because I know he's a sensitive guy, but the choice has always been his. To drive a girl that you liked home three or four times, and kiss her each time is definitely something I would walk out on a guy for.

So I sealed the deal. I closed the case.

And as a sensitive guy I know he's going to feel guilty.

Do men ever grow up?

Will I?

quakes

I don't even know the amount of people that have been injured or killed during the earthquakes that started Sunday night and Monday morning in Abruzzo. Italy is slowly expanding, and there have been earthquakes almost every day since. I have yet to feel them, but most can be detected even in Florence. The country is pretty much flipping its shit. There is a huge lack of money, blood, shelter to aid the people in the areas most seriously damaged. To help:

SMS PER L'ABRUZZO 48580
Ogni SMS inviato contribuira' con 1 euro, che sara' interamente devoluto al Dipartimento della Protezione Civile per il soccorso e l'assistenza. 2 euro attraverso chiamata da rete fissa di Telecom Italia, utilizzando lo stesso numero 48580. Il Dipartimento della Protezione Civile fornira' tutte le indicazioni sull'utilizzo dei fondi raccolti.

A call or text message to donate money. 1 or 2 euro depending on it being from a landline or cell phone.

One will receive this message if it has gone through, in response: grazie, con questo messaggio stai aiutando la popolazione dell'abruzzo colpita dal terremoto

Happy Easter.

sick

I'm not sure whether to give up.

foggy memories